Some jokes for all!! especially you Little Flower!!!

Since I have been gone so long, here are a couple of jokes!!!lol

WHY MEN SHOULD NEVER

WRITE AN ADVICE COLUMN

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Dear Larry,

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help.

When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor’s daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor’s daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years!

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won’t go to counseling and I’m afraid I can’t get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila

******************************

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

Larry

WOW, men are just sooo simple!!!!lol

Fart

An elderly couple was attending church.
About halfway through, the husband leans over and says to his wife, ‘I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?
She replies, ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid.’

I THINK YOU’RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS………

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at  him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, ‘Do you know me?’ To which she replies, ‘I think you’re the father of one of my kids.’ Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???’

………… She looks into his eyes and says calmly, ‘No, I’m your son’s teacher’

 Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

6 Comments so far

  1. somemansdream @ December 18th, 2008

    Lol…oh my…those were great..ty for sharing. Debbie

  2. LittleFlower @ December 18th, 2008

    These have been circulated!!!!

  3. sabrinaBB @ December 18th, 2008

    LOL…those are funny! Thanks! :D

  4. astrongnewme @ December 18th, 2008

    I liked the last one especially! Ha ha!

  5. kamaperry @ December 18th, 2008

    Lol, missed you!

  6. LaTina @ December 18th, 2008

    Very funny… I needed a laugh!

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