I’m back!!!!
So I am finally back. Sorry I have been gone so long!!! It got relaly frustrating at the end there with the wedding and all. It is the little thinkgs that jsut get overwhelming!! But it was great, honeymoon was great and now I am back int he swing of things!!
I will post some wedding pictures as soon as I get them, my photographer says it should be this weekend, but they are are just the rough drafts, but I jsut want to see them!!!
Okay so here are a couple of jokes since I have been away for a while!!!
This one is priceless…
A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!!
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to
Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to
Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in
Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from
relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers
here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I’ve seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!!!!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!
another……………..
NEBRASKA BLONDES
Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the NEBRASKA Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, ‘So y’all want to be cops, huh?’
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, ‘To be a detective, you have to be able to detect.
You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth.’
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
Now,’ he said, ‘did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?’
The blonde immediately said, ‘Yes, I did. He has only one eye!’
The detective shook his head and said, ‘Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It’s a profile of his face!
You’re dismissed!’
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, said, ‘What about you?
Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?’
‘Yes! He only has one ear!’
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, ‘Didn’t you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man’s face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You’re excused too!’
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, ‘This is probably a waste of time, but… ‘He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, ‘All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?’
The blonde said, ‘I sure did. This man wears contact lenses.’
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.
He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, ‘You’re absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?’
The blonde rolled her eyes and said,
‘Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can’t wear glasses.’
and lastly…………………….
A little boy wanted $100.00 very
badly and prayed for weeks, but
nothing happened.
Then he decided to write
God a letter requesting
the $100.00.
When
The postal authorities
received the letter to
God, USA, they decided
to send it to the
President.
The president was so
amused that he
instructed his secretary
to send the little boy a
$5.00 bill.
The president thought
this would appear to be a
lot of money to a little
boy.
The little boy was
delighted with the $5.00
bill and sat down to write
a thank-you note to God,
which read:
Dear God: Thank you
very much for sending
the money. However, I
noticed that for some
reason you sent it
through
Washington DC., and
those assholes deducted
$95.00 in taxes. HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!
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Hey I haven’t been on here in so long; I told KAMA I was leaving but not closing my account because of my wonderful buddies like you! Hey where are the wedding pictures? Congrats to you Toni love you and I know it was absolutely beautiful!
YAY…..Toni is back!. Congratulations on the wedding…Bet you are glad the stess of planning and putting that together is over!
Goodness, I missed you and your jokes!!
Can’t wait for the pics!