twintluv99

How about some stupid signs………………………

I was wondering how you got to the moon!!!!!

I have actually seent his sign at McDonalds!!!

Oh you mean the other right!!!

and my favorite!!!

A woman visited a plastic
surgeon who told her about a new 
                    procedure  called ‘The Knob,’
where a small knob is placed at the top of the 
                    woman’s  head and could be
turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect 
                    of  a brand new  face-lift. Of
course, the woman wanted ‘The Knob.’
                               
                    Over the course of the years,
the woman tightened the knob, and the 
                    effects were wonderful, the
woman remained young looking and vibrant.
                               
                    After fifteen years, the woman
returned to the surgeon with two problems.
                   
                    ‘All these years, everything has
been working just fine. I’ve had to turn the knob many times and I’ve
always loved the results. But now I’ve  developed two  annoying problem
s: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the  knob won’t
get rid of them.’
                               
                    The doctor looked at her closely
and said, ‘Those aren’t bags, those are your breasts.’ 
                     
                    She said, ‘Well, I guess there’s
no point in asking about the goatee.’  
                    
Sorry if this offends anyone but I about fellout of my chair laughing when I read this!!!! I just had to share it!!!!

A contestant on ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’ had reached the final plateau.

  If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000.  If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.  And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover.

  It was, ‘Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?  Is it:

    A) the condor

    B) the buzzard

    C) the cuckoo

    D) the vulture

  The woman was on the spot.  She did not know the answer.  She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline.  All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline.  She hoped she would not have to use it because.  Her friend was, well, blonde.

  But she had no alternative.  She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.

  The blonde responded unhesitatingly:  ‘That’s easy.  The answer is C:  the cuckoo.’

  The contestant had to make a decision and make fast.

  She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Meredith any answer except the one that her friend had given her.  And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do.  But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced.

  ‘I need an answer,’ said Meredith.

  Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, ‘C: The cuckoo.’

  ‘Is that your final answer?’

  ‘Yes, that is my final answer.’

  And Meredith replied, ‘That answer is…  Absolutely correct!  You are now a millionaire!’

  Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.

  ‘Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you, ‘ said the contestant.  ‘How did you happen to know the right answer?’

  ‘Oh, come on,’ said the blonde… ‘Everybody knows that cuckoos don’t build nests.  They live in clocks.’

Awww the weekend was long but it went by so fast!!!!!!!!!!! All of Kris’ shows went great, if I have time I will upload some pictures later!!!

 A Womans Poem:

He didn’t like the casserole And he didn’t like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard… Not like his mother used to make. I didn’t perk the coffee right He didn’t like the stew, I didn’t mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him… Like his mother used to do

HAVE A GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanted ot go ahead and say happy 4th becuase I won’t be ont his weekend, actually after right now. Big weekend, Kris has 2 big shows this weekend, on on 6th street on Friday night and another out on a boat ont he lake all day Saturday soooo yeah busy for him means busy for me, selling cds and giving out contact cards and demos and stuff liek that!!!

So happy 4th all!!!! be safe

Also sending out love and prayers for my brother serving in Hondouras and anyone elses loved ones who are away!!!!

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.

I just wanted to copy Debbie’s blog about Angela. I am sure some of you may read her blog as well, but I wanted to paste it jsut incase anyone missed it!!

Thanks to all you great buddies who have sent up prayers for Angela and her daughters.  They are working!  We took the girls to the orthopaedic doctor today.  Brittany’s foot is not broken, there’s a chip in the bone.  So they put her in a brace instead of a cast.  That will make things easier for her and Angela was very happy.  Heather has whiplash and needs to go for xrays of her hip.  It will take awhile for them to heal but it could have been so much worse.  Angela is still having a tough time dealing with all of this.  It’s hard  when your children hurt and the image of seeing their car being thrown in the air is something she can’t forget.  So please keep them in your prayers.  She is my best friend and it is so upsetting to see her hurting so much.  Thank you all!

Debbie   

Thanks again for all the prayers!!!

Even on a short week, and even this early int he week, it already feels long!!!!!! At least Friday is a holiday!!!!

that isn’t a joke that is the truth!!!!

And now a INTRODUCING!!!!! the new state quarters!!!