twintluv99

Pretty uneventful weekend, did absolutely nothing but go to Dave & Busters with Kris on Friday night which was pretty fun!

ZIGGY SAYS HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whooo hooo it’s the weekend finally!!!!!!!!!!! No plans for me this weekend and that is jsut fine with me!!!!!!!! In honor of tax season I figured why not!!!

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time - weightlifters, longshoremen, etc. But nobody could do it. One day a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, “I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said “okay”, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. He then handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six more drops of juice fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid him. The $1000, and asked the little man, “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?” The man replied, “I work for IRS.”

HAVE  A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, it is sad but I have to say bye bye to Biggest Loser. I jsut can’t watch this show anymore. I have been loosing interest int he show for like the last 3 seasons but I just can’t do it. The last episode I actually watched was the one where they brought back one man and one woman. I ahve 5 episodes waiting on my DVR to watch and honestly jsut don’t care. For me that is huge!! I was a DIE HARD fan and supported of the show, btu the show has changed. I am not knocking the show becuase you kwno what it is a TV show. It isn’t here to motivate and all that it is plain and simple to make money and good that they happen to change some lives along the way, but it was a motivational, inspirational show to me and it jsut isn’t anymore. I mean hell it isn’t even about the weight loss anymore. It is about game play and making alliances and all kinds of other crap. Sad to say I respect that stupid show on CMT (it is that or VH1 not sure??) the Cheerleader U. It is like 10 broads in that used ot be cheerleaders in highschool, that have “let themselves go!!” (HA HA what a joke the last season I saw the heaviest girl was like 165!!!!!!). But at least this show you weigh in and whoever has the lowest percentage of weight loss goes home, plain and simple. Biggest Looser has jsut become to much bs. I might as well just watch survivor or something!!

My final straw was the Million Pound Match Up contest they had, which my sister and I entered! I was shocked when they announced the fianlists and one of the finalist teams had actually GAINED 5 pounds over the course of the competition. Now come on it was a 4 month competitiona nd this woman gained!! AND STILL WON!!!!!!!!! THAT IS BS and I don’t care how many hate emails I get about this blog it is just the truth!!!!!!! I know several people were pissed and the people said well if you look at the rules it says how much you loose does not increase your chances of winning this is about how much you share on your journey! Umm okay then why is it even a Biggest Looser contest. Why not have a who can put the most personal crap out contest. I am sorry but to have a winner who gains in a weight loss competition is just ridiculous! Yeah you kwno what I can admit I am bitter becuase we didn’t win but it jsut seems like even more of an insult. My sister lost 28 pounds and I lost 22, but I guess we should ahev gained weight if we wanted to win. My mom says I should jsut be proud and that i did win becuase I lost weight but anyone who has ever competed in anythign can understand how I feel. I mean hell we can’t all be winners I know that, but let me end by asking this, if you were playing a basketball game and if at the end of the game you had 80 points and the other team had 40 and the referee said the other team won, would you be like “WHAT THE *%#@?”

Go ahead email me, btu I am solid on this one and I honestly don’t really care anymore. My wedding is turnign into a nightmare with everyone commenting or complaining about this or that. People tellign me that my Vegas wedding cake is tacky and i need to have a traditional white wedding cake, the girls complainging about the shoes, the make-up, not wanting to wear their hair up. I am so sick of other people and me being to much of a coward to be like screw you it’s my wedding and I am gonna have what Kris and I want end of story! So now today, probably because Kris kicked my butt in that workout and I am all sore, I say screw it,a dn honestly just don’t care to much. I just need a freaking break before I call of this whole stupid wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man am I tired. kris and I had out first full boxing workout and let me tell you my arms are sore!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But hey no pain no gain!!!!!!!!!

Helisoft
	A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.” The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. “I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.”

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.  After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute.  “Well,
bullet

Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says.  “Someone has stolen our tent!”

HAVE FUN TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHOOO HOOO, so Kris and I went last night to Academy (no I did not ge tmy ring from Academy silly!!!) to get the boxing equipment so eh can start training me. No I am not goign to be a boxer but after alot of internet research, this really si going to be the best method in my opinion to get the areas I am trying to focus on toned up for the wedding. i guess i shouldn’t say boxing, more like sparring! And alot of it and alot of repetition!!!!!!

SO anyway we went to Academy, and Kris got some stuff but they didn’t ahev all he wanted os he wa sliek let’s go to the Oshmans near the mall. Well we had gotten a tip from this woman when we were in another store lookign for rings that there was a new store in the mall that was having a huge sale becuase they just opened are were trying to get business! So we figured might as well check it out since we wee near the mall.

When we walked in iw as liek ummmm no WAY!!!!!!!!! The rings were all huge!!!! Monsterous diamonds and stuff. I just don’t wear big huge rings like that. That is why i like my engagement ring so much, Kris did so well and it is sooo me. SIMPLE!!! I am not one of those women who is like I want a huge 5 karat diamond blah blah blah!! So the guy wa sliek well we have some smaller ones and he showed me a couple and I feel in love with one. It is a simple square cut 1.5 karat pure diamond on a simple white gold band. It has the princess setting or soemthing liek that so it is raised up. I gues sit kinda looks liek an engagement ring but it is perfect for me!!!!!!!!!!! i am so excited and the best part is Kris found a ring as well!!!!!!!!!! His is a white gold band with a flush mounted 1 karat diamond! He originally said he didn’t want any gems just the band but he liked this one becuase it was flush with the band! And we got both of them for $700!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOO HOOOO, the ring Kris was looking at for me was $2,500 on it’s own which I thought was jsut ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now the hard part is waiting the 6 months till I can wear it!!!!!!!!! DANGIT!!!!!!!!!!

Why parents drink ________________
 

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employee had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper. ‘Hello ?‘

‘Is your daddy home?’ he asked.

‘ Yes ,‘ whispered the small voice.

‘May I talk with him?‘

The child whispered, ‘No.‘
 

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, ‘Is your Mommy there?’

‘Yes.’

‘May I talk with her?’

Again the small voice whispered, ‘No .‘

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, ‘Is anybody else there?‘

‘Yes ,’ whispered the child, ‘a policeman ‘.

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, ‘May I speak with the policeman?‘

‘ No, he’s busy ‘, whispered the child.

‘Busy doing what?‘

‘Talking to Daddy  and Mommy and the Fireman ,‘ came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, ‘What is that noise?‘  

‘A helicopter ‘ answered the whispering voice.

‘What is going on there?‘ demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered,’ The  search team just  landed a helicopter .‘

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, ‘What are they searching for?‘

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle…

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay guys I need some serious motivation, nto that I don’t ahev it but hey you can never have too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to loose 3 inches off my back for my dress to fit perfectly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does anyone know how that translates in pounds?? i am thinking maybe 20?????????

I know i can do it, but I always like to verbalize my goals so people will stay on me and hold me accountable!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS!!!

Okay so the cake tasting went well. You guys should be glad it wasn’t quite the cake tasting I was expecting. i thought there would eb all these different cakes for me to taste!! NOPE!!!!!!!!

She only made the cake I said I wanted which was vanilla cake with strawberry filling. It was really good though, so i booked with her!!!!!!

So we are having the Vegas themed cake witht he top and bottom layer vanilla cake with strawberry filling, and the middle layer is strawberry cake with buttercream filling!!!!!!!!!!!!!YUMMMY!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course the grrom’s cake is chocolate so now we have all our bases covered!!!!!!! WHOOO HOOOOO 

Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted ‘Crazy’ he would tell me to take a few days off.
 So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who’s blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so that the boss might think I was ‘Crazy’ and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, ‘What in the name of good GOD are you doing?’
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, ‘You are clearly stressed out.’ Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.’
I jumped down and walked out of the office…

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,’..
And where do you think you’re going….

 

 

(You’re gonna love this….)

 

 
 

She said, ‘I’m going home, too. You can’t possibly expect me to work in the dark! 

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!