twintluv99

Best Divorce Letter Ever
 
Dear wife: 
 
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.
I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.  These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps.  You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.  Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. 
 
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to
West Virginia together!

Have a great life! 
 
  
Dear Ex-Husband 
 
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.  I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn’t work.  I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’  Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. 

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.  About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. 

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it
out.   So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my
job & bought us 2 tickets to
Jamaica   But when I got home you
were gone.  Everything happens for a reason, I guess.  I hope
you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.  My lawyer said that
the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. 
  
Signed, 
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! 

Love it!!! Have a great weekend!!!