Monday!!!
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Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants. |
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Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative. |
| I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said “Implants?” She hit me. |
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How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ? |
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| I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place! | |
| When I was young we used to go “skinny dipping,” now I just “chunky dunk.” | |
Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. |
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| Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !! | |
Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? |
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| Wouldn’t you know it….. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever. |
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| Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside? | |
| Bumper sticker of the year: “If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it’s in English, thank a soldier” |
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!
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lol lol Great way to start off my Monday!!!
I love this!! Have a great Monday =)
Thanks for the laughs! Have a great day.
Those are funny!! Have a good day!!
LOL LOL you kill me !!!!!!!! -Dee
All very cute!
These are great! :o)
LOL!!! Funny as usuall!! Have a great week.
I LOVE these!! Lol, have a great one!
I may not always leave a reply, but I always read and look forward to your jokes. Thank you.