Archive for February, 2008

Friday!

Posted February 29, 2008 * Comments(5)

BOUDREAUX GOES TO CONFESSION AND TELLS THE PRIEST, I DIDN’T REALLY COMMIT
ADULTERY, I JUST PASSED IT AROUND DOWN THERE, DIDN’T PUT IT IN.  THE PRIEST
SAYS, THAT’S THE SAME AS PUTTING IT IN, THAT’S A SIN.  FOR YOUR PENANCE, I
WANT YOU TO SAY A ROSARY AND WHEN YOU LEAVE CHURCH, PUT $20. IN THE POOR
BOX.  BUDRO SITS DOWN, SAYS HIS ROSARY, AND IS WALKING BY THE POOR BOX WITH
THE PRIEST WATCHING.  HE TAKES THE $20, RUBS IT AROUND THE HOLE AND PUTS IT
BACK IN HIS POCKET.  THE PRIEST HOLLERS, BUDRO, I TOLD YOU TO PUT IT IN THE
BOX, BUDRO SAYS, YOU SAID RUBBING IT AROUND THE HOLE WAS THE SAME AS PUTTING
IT IN.  AND THEY SAY BUDRO IS DUMB

Relationships!!

Posted February 28, 2008 * Comments(10)

So Angela had posted a blog this morning about her husband gettign ready to leave for Houston without her and how much she was going to miss him and it really made me thing about our relationships, well actually more about mine! (Yeah yeah I know the whole world revolves around me!! ha ha!!!)

I have (or I guess I should say now have been!!) always been really independent but not so much since Kris! he has totally changed me and I start to wonder is it all positive. I mena don’t get me wrong I have always wanted a man who truely understands me and accepts me as I am, and that is definitly what I ahve, btu when does that kind of unconditional love become not in your best interest? I knwo I will probably get tons of hate email about how spoiled I am and how I should jsut appreciate what I ahve and trust me I do. NOBODY knows more than me how lucky I am to have such a wonderfully loving man, but he is just liek you are perfect baby!! Always tells me everyday how great I look and even when I first started loosing the weight he was always like,w ell I love you NOW and however you are, and youa re the most beautiful woman int he world…yada yada yada! I am not complaining what woman does not love compliments, but I just feel like I don’t know, liek i don’t ahve any pressure to better myself! I knwo that is horrible for me to say, and i am lucky that I have the kind of man who will let me blame him for my own lack of motivation of late, but it jsut flat out comes down to the fact that he has really MADE ME LOVE ME!!! And I didn’t for sooooo long!! he has made me accept myself as i am, and I knwo it sounds bad, but alot of my motivation was based in my hatred and unhappiness with myself! Now that that is gone, i feel like I have kinda lost my drive. Let me tell you, there is nothing like being uncomfortable in your own skin to get you motivated and up off your butt!!! Kris is big on, “if you don’t liek it change it, or shut up about it!!” And I have kinda taken on that mantra as well, but i really do just LOVE myself!! flab and all. And I am proud of that, btu it also makes me feel sad, becuase there is still more improvement I have to make!!

Okay, so enought of me whinning!! i guess with the Rheumetoid Arthritis and the mouth surgery and everythign else that has been going on, I jsut feel liek my weight loss has fallen to the back burner and I need to write this blog. i need to put it out there that I was off track, in order to get myself back on track, becuase even now as i write this it is like come on girl. You ahve a man who loves you as you are, and you think that could in some way be negative!! I am saying it to myself!! GIRL GET A GRIP!!!! Thanks for letting me vent and I am sure all your comments (and PLEASE DO COMMENT!!!)  will give me the push I need t0 make the most of this next month and 1/2 (OH YEAH!!! I AM GETTIGN MY DRESS FINALLY ORDERED SO AFTER THAT IT IS ALL ABOUT MAINTAINING, NOT LOOSING BECUSE I CAN’T HAVE THE FIASCO I JUST HAD, HAVING TO CHANGE MY DRESS BECAUSE I COULDN’T FILL TI OUT LIKE I DID BEFORE!!!).

So wish me luck!!! My goal is 30 pounds!!!!! Hold me to it!!!! THANKS BUDDIES!!!

Thursday!!!

Posted February 28, 2008 * Comments(4)

Fell asleep again last night around 8:00pm and then woke up around midnight sick as a dog!! Still feeling oh soooo nauseaus (yeah I can’t spell!!!) this morning. Sitting here drinking Sprite trying not to puke again!!! I really think they just have me on too many meds!!!! ARGHHHHHH!!!!! Not taking anythign today, or until this goes away, I will deal with the pain, becuase trust me after mouth surgery, throwing up is worse!!!!! btu enough about me, definitly need a laugh this morning!!!

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president’soffice.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, “$165,000″. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, “What kind of bets?”

The elderly woman replied, “Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.”

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, “Would you like to take my bet?” “Certainly”, replied the president. “I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.”

“Done”, the elderly woman answered. “But given the amount of money involved, if you don’t mind I would like to come back at 10 o’ clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.” “No problem”, said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o’clock the elderly woman arrived at the president’s office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president’s testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. “Of course”, said the president. “Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.”

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied,

“Oh, it’s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o’clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada !”

GOTTA LOVE THE ELDERLY!!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!

Wednesday!!!

Posted February 27, 2008 * Comments(5)

Nope, but at least it is hump day, so at least we are closer to the end then the begining, well at least after noon!! Man I am still sooo tired!! probably all the crap I am still on!!! I fell asleep last night at 7:25pm, right after dinner and was out fo rthe night!!! being an insomniac, that is really crazy for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

 A WOMAN’S WORLD…………….

Have a fun day!!!!!! Hang in there, it will be the weekend soon!!!!!!!

Tuesday!!!

Posted February 26, 2008 * Comments(5)

Doctors Never Laugh

The Doctor replied “Of course I won’t laugh, I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.”

“Okay then,” Bob said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest ‘whoo-ha’ the doctor had ever seen. It couldn’t have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

“I’m so sorry,” said the doctor. “I really am. I don’t know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won’t happen again. Now, what seems to be the problem?”

“It’s swollen,” Bob replied

HAVE A GOOD ONE!!!!

THANK YOU ALL!!!

Posted February 25, 2008 * Comments(9)

I just had to blog and say thanks to everyone who prayed for me and missed me while I was gone!!! ESPECIALLY!!! my girl Angela!! Just read your blag and all the great comments everyone had left for me, and now of course you have me crying like a baby!! It might still be the pain though girl. I really am trying not to laugh to hard!!! It is still really hard and tight!!!!!!!!!!! But THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all the great  comments!! ti feels so nice to know that i am loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and missed!!! I missed all of your guys alot as well!!!

I wish I had all your names and addresses so i could send out thank you cards, but since I don’t let’s jsut all imagine that this is address to each and everyone of you!!!

I’m back!!!

Posted February 25, 2008 * Comments(2)

I am back!! Not fully 100% yet, but back out of bed at least, and back at work!! i look liek a  !!!!!!!!!!

mY CHEEKS ARE HUGE!! Looks like i am packing in food for the winter!!!

But hey I lost 2 pounds over the course of not being able to eat!! Not that that is a good thing, but hey a loss is  a loss and I will take it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Broccoli Casserole

 

A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for  dinner.

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman’s chair, and said in a rather stern voice, ‘Skippy!’.

The woman thought, ‘This is great!’ and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip..
!
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, ‘Dammit Skippy!’
Once again the woman smiled and thought ‘Yes!’ A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn’t even think about it.
She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, ‘Dammit Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!’

Sorry guys, i knwo bathroom humor so tacky, but hey still not feeling that great so I used the first joke in my email!!!!

Hope everyone is doing well!!!

 

Going to be MIA for a little bit!!!

Posted February 18, 2008 * Comments(10)

Okay, so I am going to be MIA for a little bit.

I hesitate even to post this becuase I don’t want peopel gettign the wrong idea, but most of you all, have read most of my blogs and I feel you kwno me and my relationship pretty well, so I feel okay!!

KRIS broke my jaw and 2 teeth!!! ha ha, fooled ya, not like you are thinking! It really was an accident!! i was getting into bed and bam, he was trying to move out of the way and caught me with an uppercut!! yeah i was plopping down and he was turnign over to move and just the right timing!! So anyway, i was still on the Hydrocodone for my knee, which is why I guess I didn’t feel the pain right away! But since my knee is feeling better I stopped and then had bad pain in my mouth!!

So i went to the dentist and I have a hairline fracture in my jaw and am going to have to have 2 teeth removed!! When i got hit, I bit down and cracked them. Little peices have been breaking off for like a week now!!! Luckily they are just my back wisdom teeth, so I just have to have them removed, instead of other teeth that would have had to be replaced!

So i have my appointment with the oral surgeon on Tuesday and I am pretty sure they are going to be removed same day, but I don’t know for sure yet! Just wanted to let everyone know I may be MIA for the rest of the week or so!!

And also, no Kris is not hitting me, or anything like that! Trust me this was an accident! I am not a woman who would let a man lay a finger on her and live!!!!

Just wanted to let you all know where i was!!!

Finally a loss!!!

Posted February 18, 2008 * Comments(2)

Okay so finally, I had a loss!! Not the 5 pounds I wanted, but hey the way things have been going!! I will take it!!!

SO…. i lost 4 pounds last week!!! And I am happy! It is a loss and I will take it!

WHOOO HOOOO!!

Bout time that scale got moving again!!

Monday!!!

Posted February 18, 2008 * Comments(5)

A 3-year-old’s Tea Party!! 

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and
my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe  3 
years old and had just recovered from an accident in
which my arm had been broken among other injuries. 

Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a get-well gift
and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living
room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was
playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a
little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups
of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came
home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch
me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest
thing!!’
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the
hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink
it up, then says, ‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place
that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??’

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