twintluv99

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps?”

The clerk says, “What denomination?”

The blonde says, “God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.”

GOOD EARS! 

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to
put his name on his mailbox.
 
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the
mailboxes, wearing a robe.
 
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
 
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
“Let’s go to my apartment,….. I hear someone coming.”
 
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against
it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
 
Now nude, she purred at him, “What would you say is my best feature?”
 
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, “It’s got to be your ears.”
 
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, “My ears? Look at these breasts;
they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and
solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the
best part of my body is my ears?”
 
Clearing his throat, he stammered …. “Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming…. that was me.”

LAWYERS APPARENTLY AREN’T AS SMART AS THEY THINK!!!

He thinks he’s smarter than the deputy because he’s a NY lawyer and certain
he had a better education then a cop from TX so decided to prove it to
himself and have some fun at the deputy’s expense.

Deputy: “Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle.”

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!