Thanksgiving!!!!
Well today I do since it is practically Friday!!!!
How about some Thanksgiving jokes?
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
If your papa could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,”
little Timothy wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”
Thanksgiving Divorce
A man in Phoenix calls his son in
New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,”I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in
Chicago and tell her.”
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this,”
She calls
Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”
And Thanksgiving would not be Thanksgiving without the good ole Black November Poem!!!
Black November
A Turkey’s Lament
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ….. Black November;
”Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.
”And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
”Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald’n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink,
”And then comes the worst part” he said not bluffing,
”She’ll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing”.
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked;
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola,
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes,
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap,
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said “Christmas is coming……..”
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Oh my goodness, Lmao!
That was SUPER!!! What would we do without you. Big hug, Marge
That was good… Hope your Turkey day is a good one.
