Monique’s F.A.T. in Paris
So did anyone get a chance to watch this?? It comes on Oxygen here in Texas but I am not sure if that is a channel everywhere or not. I like Monique and I definitly think she is making some positive changes out there for the world’s view of “plus size”, “Big Gurls!!!” or however you want to phrase it, but I don’t know, just some of the times some of the things she says rub me the wrong way. I really hope not to offend anyone, and I don’t know why I feel the need to say this becuase most of the people reading my blogs are people who always read them or at least have read others and I think they know my intentions are never to hurt anyone or offend anyone, so that being said, I was a little sad and disheartened by this season. I mean I think Monique definitly changed the show in comparison to other seasons, and I think it was becuase people gave her a hard time. I mean the first season the woman were plus size, but they were mostly that perfect plus size that is few and far between with big boobs, big butt, and not much of a waist or stomach at all!! Well this years women were definitly more shaped like the “real” plus size, with butts in the front (ha ha, that is my own personal term for that great roll that it your stomach but it hangs down low int he front, whoo hoo mine is going finally!!!! Just call it that cuz it is like I have more butt in the frint than back!!! but anyway…) and stuff that jiggles and rolls!! And I was happy to see these women and I am glad that there is something like this out there for “us” but I just don’t agree with everything. I think EVERYONE!!! should love themselves, regardless of color, sex, size, whatever!! We just need to love us!! If you don’t love yourself then how will anyone else!! And I am all about confidence. I am a FIRM believer of know your size and own it!! Work with what you got cuz we all have the potential to be fierce if we can just accept our bodies as they are and wear clothes that accentuate the positive, and we ALL have positives!! My issue was that she was like don’t diet, love every roll, if you want to eat cake than eat cake. This was the part I had a hard time with. I don’t feel like I love myself any less becuase I am dieting. I think it actually shows I love myself more. I am trying to be the best me I can be, and I hate to say it (this is the part that I hope doesn’t offend anyone!!) but I know for a fact the best me I can be is not weighing almost 300 pounds ( HELL yeah, finally under that hump!!! WHOOO HOOO!!!!). I am not saying becuase I am smaller I am better, I am saying I feel better, not better than anyone else but just better than how I felt before. I have more energy. I am not tired all the time. I am not saying all these things describe all people who are overweight, I am just saying for me, weighing less is making significant improvements in my life, and I don’t like feeling like I am not loving myself or accepting myself just becuase I am trying to loose weight. I mean I went to college becuase I wanted to better my mind, why not give my body the same treatment!! I don’t know maybe I am just reflecting my own feelings onto Monique. I have been struggling here lately just becuase I have changed my entire life!! I don’t have the same cravings, I don’t do the same activities, and though I am extatic about all my progress, I can’t deny the little voice that is like man this is scary. Pretty much my entire life I have been the “really pretty big girl”. The girl who yeah she may be overweight, but wow she is cute, and dresses well and yada yada yada ( This is what people say about me not me just fluffing up my own head!!!). Do you know I once had some fool come up to me in the club and be like man I don’t like big girls but I sure would love to get at you. At the time, i was just like whatever fool, but thinking back I wish I could have really put him in his place. Its like look you idiot, you don’t even like big girls and you want me, so do you really think i am having a problem getting a man???? HELLO???? I don’t think so!! But anyways, I am digressing. I guess my point, or more like my question to anyone who wants to answer it is : Is anyone else having torn identity feelings?? I mean I like being thick, and I am not trying to be, nor do I desire to be skinny, I just want to be the best me I can be. But I feel almost hypocritical sometimes. I have so many people, especially since joining this site, who are like you are beautiful and you are a great representation of how a plus size woman should carry themselves, and I have been that for so long, but I feel like it is changing. How can I say love yourself and all your rolls and then in the same day go work out for 3 hours in the gym? It is like I want this weight off soooooooo bad. It is like finding out you have an enemy you never realized you had!!! I guess I am just going thru what I assume people who retire feel. It is like hey, I worked all my life and I am done and I deserve to retire, but then I did this for so long, it almost defined who I am, and I love it, and now it is over and though it is a great acheivement to be able to retire it is almost bitter sweet becuase a big part of your identity is gone….. Kris and I have this little inside joke, that whenever he thinks I look nice and stuff he will say I am kinda cute, because I met him thru a female friend of his and after the first night we met he told her I was ”kinda cute”. Well of course she told me that he said that, and honestly the is one of the reasons I credit with us being together. I was not interested in him at all but when she told me that he said “kinda” cute I was like hell no. I am not kinda cute, i AM cute, and the next time I saw him that is exactly what i told him,a dn it just started this great playfull kinda inside joke banter that just made me feel comfortable with him like he was an old friend I had!! And now look 5 years in November so you just never know where love is gonna find you!! So this weekend his best friend got married and we were getting ready to go to the wedding and he was like you knwo what baby i don’t think I can honestly call you kinda cute anymore, cuz you are way past cute. So now he is like well then i am gonna say kinda fine!! (Okay another sidenote, I don’t know how anyone else defines it, but it our opinion cute is if you have a great face, and fine is the total package!! Great looks, body, personality, the whole none yards!!!) I don’t want to put Kris in a bad light, he is super supportive and complimentary and always tells me how great I looka nd he loves me, and fell in love with me at my biggest ever, so he truely loves me for the inside not the out,a nd the kinda thing is our little inside joke. Don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea,I have the greatest man in Texas (have to say that or I will ahev Josie and Angela on my butt sayign they have the greatest men, so i will jsut say in Texas, then I will only have the Texas ladies contesting my statement which I stand by 200% Sorry ladies!!!!). I don’t know it is just weird to me becuase I ahve always gotten compliments but lately it is just crazy and a little overwhelming!!! Does any of this make sense to anyone??? Sorry guys just thinking out loud!!!
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You hit the nail on the head! I like Monique too but there is a point where one can go overboard and of course we can be happy in our skin, but how do they really feel Toni? They can act or do whatever but I know for one I was not really happy at 277 lbs and I feel really great at 228 if I didn’t lose another pound I’d be happy but you have to be happy with yourself and yes you are beautiful inside and out with or without the weight but what matters the most is how you feel about yourself. I was content but not happy nothing fit; I was miserable so not I am quite happy it’s fun to shop so I completely understand your point. And yes you do have the best man in TEXAS that is lol lol lol and Kris is great (no caps this time) and my husband use to say you know your alright and I use to get pissed what do you mean alright? Now it;s you are beautiful and sexy and my pretty wife. Men they don’t express themselves how they really feel but take it for what it’s worth! It all makes sense and no matter what remember YOUR BEAUTIFUL… and losing some weight and inches makes you feel even more beautiful than go for it! As for the cake cookies etc. As long as it is in moderation but don’t overdue it. Monique talks that mess, but have you noticed she’s lost weight and toned up a bit. Just watch the old Parkers and see when she was almost 400 lbs not she’s in the 260’s so go figure! The bottom line is this….YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOU AND AS LONG AS YOU DO… That’s all that matters. Hope this made sense lol lol lol It;s okay to think out loud I do all the time!
I think that you have brought up a very important point in your blog that I completely agree with. Our society is so bent on the perfect body that big women are often left to feel ashamed of ourselves and worthless because of our weight. Look at the Buddyslim membership. We certainly have male members, and we are glad to have them here, but the majority of the active members are women! And so many of us are struggling with self esteem issues because of our weight. But if you want to lose weight, does that mean that you are giving up on being able to love yourself no matter what and being comfortable in your body? Absolutely not. You have discovered what so many of us have, that once we start to lose the weight it is really not about the cosmetics of it at all. It is about feeling better and being healthier, which we cannot do if we are carrying around that much extra weight. Does it feel good to look in the mirror and see a skinnier self emerging? Definitely. But it feels even better to be able to move, and play, and not want to die after walking up a flight of stairs! I think for many of us who have more than fifty pounds to lose it may start out cosmetic, but ends up being about just realizing that we feel better at a healthier weight. No matter how much we love the curves in our body, and how comfortable we have become with them, it is just not healthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel better, and looking better is just one of the side effects. Thank you so much for taking the time to bring up this subject, I think that it is something that many of us have struggled with before.
I agree you should love yourself and have confidence at any and all weights you may be. Loosing weight isn’t saying you don’t love who you are any more its just admitting to yourself that you may be happier smaller. I think its great Monique has this show to make plus size women realise they are just as pretty as size 2s, however she shouldn’t be making them feel bad for wanting to be happier and healthier at a smaller size.
I have to agree with the point you made but I know that it is not only “fluffy” people who suffer like that. My sister is underweight and struggles with self-confidence and self-image issues. She has stangers come up to her and accuse her of being anorexic. She does eat and is mostly healthy with her diet but she cannot gain weight. My family torments her at any gathering about eating. She once told me that she would take every unwanted pound of fat off my body and put it on hers just so she could avoid the critism. Our society has too many stigmas and stereotypes. Skinny people automatically have an eating disorder while fat people are lazy slobs. Why can’t we focus on being healthy first and then let the weight part catch up?
This is wonderful and so right. I have finally determined that I’m not out to become society’s idea of “perfect” but to be the best and healthiest I can be for me!! Confidence in yourself is so key, and you have it in spades!! Go girl, you are in inspiration!
I’ve never watched her show but I have seen her in other interviews and she does say to enjoy being a big woman and all that. And for me that’s fine if someone wants to live that way but eventually, it can catch up with you. You start having medical problems. It’s not so much how you look because there are bigger women that can dress beautifully then a skinny woman. It’s all about style and who wants to look good and who doesn’t regardless of weight. But, eventually your health suffers and it has to do alot with weight. Plus, I remember reading where Oprah was trying to lose weight and failing at it and she said she was giving in and loving her body the way it was. But, in reality, that’s not what she wanted. Carnie Wilson, Star Jones and Ricki Lake did the same thing. There may be some people like Monique who are happy the way they look but no one really knows for sure if that is what they truly feel. There are many stars that say the same thing and then a year or two later they go and get surgery or they get really serious about weight loss. I guess everyone has their time.