twintluv99

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!!!! Have a great day!!

Since I have been gone so long, here are a couple of jokes!!!lol

WHY MEN SHOULD NEVER

An elderly couple was attending church.
About halfway through, the husband leans over and says to his wife, ‘I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?
She replies, ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid.’

I THINK YOU’RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS………

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at  him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, ‘Do you know me?’ To which she replies, ‘I think you’re the father of one of my kids.’ Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???’

………… She looks into his eyes and says calmly, ‘No, I’m your son’s teacher’

 Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you to all who left such wonderful comments on my last blog. This is what I love so much about this site!! I have been MIA for months now, yet I am welcomed back with such compassion and support!!! Thank you all so much!!!

Now I know for sure, I will reach my goals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rock Bottom!!!By TwinTluv 

So it is finally time for me to do this. To do what I have been putting off, to my own detriment, for about two months now. I only share this story because of a friend of mine, who has told me I can be an inspiration. That I can motivate!!! I thought to my self, the very thing I need now, one of my biggest stresses is my complete lack of motivation! I seem to have lost my will power….my determination. I think it was easier for me to say I have just reached all my goals, gotten what I always wanted, true love!! I have met my real life partner, the one I will grow old with, but that is not it. Happiness does not make you fat, prior to how simple an explanation that might be!! So I decided….. I was going to put it all out there! Be so brutally honest that I would have no choice but to get it together and do what I know I have to do, because I have done it before, and successfully!! I have a friend who is struggling with addiction, and I see all the shows and they say the addict has to hit rock bottom to make the real decision to change their life, and that makes a lot of sense to me. I guess the thing they don’t say is sometimes you may hit it, and not realize it, and it can have the exact reverse affect!!! 

So here it is …. as you all know I got married in October, after almost a  full year of stress and drama and all that stuff that you know comes along with a wedding, but are yet still not at all prepared for!!! Of course I included some pictures here because regardless of anything that may have happened I felt most beautiful on this day! Yes, I could wish to have another day in my lifetime where I felt I looked as good, if I didn’t I would not be disappointed at all!! ( Yeah it felt that good!!!!) So anyway what nobody but me,
Kris and maybe
Jennifer’s boyfriend, who helped with the luggage that night, knows is……………. I was called FAT on my wedding day!! I guess I could be being dramatic but I wish I could find the words to explain how I felt. Imagine looking the best you think you could possibly look and still being insulted. And in such a way!!  I thought I had come to terms with that word, thrown around so easily, even by me!! Maybe it was more the situation, which is even more embarrassing to share.

 Here are some of my wedding pictures!!!

We were checking into our suite at the hotel that night and I was still in my wedding dress (full on everything, tiara, veil, the whole nine yards!!!),
Kris in his tuxedo and I was at the front desk and
Kris was getting our bags. There was a bar right there by the check-in and some drunk guys had made their way into the front area. They weren’t even quiet about it. One guy asked the other guy if I was a drag queen? I thought maybe I miss heard, but the other guy said no way she is just fat. Then he said I don’t know man, look at those shoulders!!! Now I have to add that for me this was a extremely low blow because I already felt extremely self conscious of my arms was nervous about wearing a dress with the arms out, but I really wanted a sweetheart neckline and that is not easy to find with sleeves, without looking like you are wearing a cape!! So, I of course got
Kris and told him and he was mad, but told me to forget about it, but that is the thing about him. He is just great like that. When he says he doesn’t care what other people think, he really doesn’t and that is what instantly drew me to him. He is okay with who he is and I soooo long for that! but I am getting there, with alot of thanks to him!!! I am sure if you asked him, he might not even remember that happening, he would only remember the good stuff, he is such an optimist!! 

So, this is what I finally now feel I understand. That was my rock bottom, I just didn’t realize it. So I did what I do best, I smothered it, and tried to forget about it but it always bothered me. It was always there, nagging at me, making me feel ugly and ashamed I was fat, so I did what I always do. Without getting too into personal stuff I lost my appeal as a woman to put it lightly, at least in my eyes. I felt disgusting and gross and worst of all I let it affect my relationship with
Kris. I reflected my feelings on him!! And to make matters worse, I went back to my old comforts of cookies and cakes and sweets and fried foods. All the things it had taken me months to not crave anymore, and they were back in an instant!! I have gained weight back faster than ever before! This scares me!! It scares me not only for me but for my new marriage. It has changed me, the love I used to have for myself is dwindling and I know that I can’t love him, if I can’t love me!! I will not let my insecurities and self esteem issues ruin my life. I will not let food have control of my life. Not anymore!! 

As some of you may know I bought a special dress for the night of my wedding rehearsal, but unfortunately by the time the wedding came around, surprise surprise the dress did not fit!! I am definitely an emotional eater and weddings, well they are as emotional as it comes, at least it was for me!! And just in case you didn’t, of course I included a picture!!! (hey I think it is a good one!!! lol) So, what I am hoping is to fit into this dress in time to wear it for my birthday in March!! (end of March so it is definitely possible!!) So this is why I am telling this embarrassing story and pretty much in a way coming clean. My friend has been trying to get me to write something for about a month now and I have been putting it off, because I knew this is exactly what would come out!! But I did it, and now it is out there, and if it is out there and no matter who might see it, well then I am as embarrassed as I can be about it, and I can move on. And maybe if I can motivate one person, or something, then it will give me the motivation to achieve my own goals once and for all. 

This is the dress:

This is just my short term goal, I definitely have long term goals, but I believe in celebrating every step of the way, every accomplishment no matter how small!!! 

Gotta love little Johnny!!! were he my kid he would be getting his little behind torn up!!! but it is still funny!!!!

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I ‘m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom .’

Little Johnny’s at it again…… A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’ * * * * * * * * * * * Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’ Yep, I’m really Glad Little Johnny ain’t mine!! * * * * * * * * * * * The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class . She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’ * ; * * * * * * * * * * Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him.’ Little Johnny asked, ‘Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?‘ * * * * * * * * * * *

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!

I never quite understood it as well as I do now!

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.
He further announced that he would now buy at $20.. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
 Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

 The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
 In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50
The villagers rounded up all of their savings and bought all the monkeys.
 Then they never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works !!

 Have a great day!!!!

 
 
The Country Preacher 
 
 
An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. 

“Lord have mercy,” the old preacher disgustedly whispered, 
“He’s gonna run for Congress.” 
 
Have a great weekend!!!!

So as I suspected it would, with the Obama victory there would be alot of racism coming out of the woodwork!! Has our country changed, hell yeah, do we still have a long way to go HELL YEAH!!!

I think alot of it is people look the other way, people think it is fine, but it isn’t. I don’t jsut feel this way as a black woman!!! All racism is wrong. I have alot of friends whom are black and are just as racist against white people. I have dealt with racism form other black people becuase I am not “black” enough for them. One of my co-workers actually told me that he was at his local hang out drinking with buddies, at a VFW of all places they should know better, and they were all just sitting around talking about fried chicken in the white house, and making alot of racist remarks. Now he tells me this and how he was shocked and appauled, but he did and said nothing. But he feels his he is okay becuase he didn’t say anything, he didn’t make the jokes, but the thing is, you didn’t say it was wrong and you laughed along as if it was okay!! Everyone has told a sterotype joke, hell I post blond jokes all the time!! but there is a point where a line is crossed in  my opinion. Another co worker told me the joke about Obama going to heaven and being asked well what did you do, and he said I was the first black president and St. peter asked when did this happen, and he said 15 minutes ago??? Are you serious? I mean come on people!!!

I live in Texas and football is big here!!! These atheletes are treated like royalty. I live in Austin and up until their loss last week UT was ranked number 1!! Now they have kicked a player off the team for posting a blog on his face book bashing Obama, using racial slurs and, and I quote, “calling all hunters to get their guns!!!” That isn;’t the sad part. the sad part is that people are upset becuas ehe was kicked off the team???? They are more concerned with winning football games then their morality and humility!!

Even as the polls were coming, there were several stations when they announced that Obama had won would make comments like this was expected becuase this is a heavily African American populated area. I am black and yes I think it is historic but I contemplated voting for McCain becuase I vote on the issues, not party or race!!!  But at the end of the day, I couldn’t afford to have my health care benifits taxed,a nd didn’t agree with to many of their policies. I disagree with alot of Obama also, but that is what you do. you weigh what is imortant to you and see where you stand, btu I had alot of friends upset with me that I would even consider not voting for him. that we need to stand together and this and that.

I don’t know I have completely lost my train of thought, I am just…… I don’t know…. I guess I am just frustrated!!!!!

–$7 SEX

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist’s office.

The doctor asks, ‘What can I do for you?’

The man says, ‘Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?’

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an
elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the
couple finishes, the doctor says, ‘There’s absolutely nothing wrong
with the way you have intercourse.
‘He thanks them for coming, he
wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.

The next week, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch
again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row.

The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems,
pays the doctor, then leave…

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, ‘I’m sorry,
but I have to ask.
Just what are you trying to find out?’
The man says, ‘We’re not trying to find out anything.
She’s married and we can’t go to her house.
I’m married and we can’t
go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98.
The Hilton charges $139.
We do it here for $50, and
I get $43 back from Medicare!!!

Gotta love the older folks!!! Have a great day!!!!

I beg of everyone not to shop at Journeys!!! I am an avid shopper at this store but no longer!! The fact that this would even be in their system as an option of choices is beyond me!!!!!

 Watch the video below ot understand what I am talking about!!!