twintluv99

Feeling much better today!! Thanks for all the jokes yesterday, they were great!!!

Thank you Angela for jsut being you!! I am so blessed to have you not only as a buddy, btu jsut in my corner. I know it gets lonely there but even feeling like it is just and only you on my side, somehow it still feels full to me!! You give me strength!!! I know you have inspired not only me but tons of others!!!

So now here is a joke for ya!!!

Blonde Cookbook

MONDAY

It’s fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY

Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper!

WEDNESDAY

A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly, but I took a bath anyway. I can’t say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY

Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden…

FRIDAY

I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY

Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I don’t have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY

Tom’s folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius… I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
 
 
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose.

Sorry guys I just don’t have any laugher or jokes in me today. Pretty saddened today, maybe someone can comment with a joke!!!!

Sorry i have been MIA for a few days, been alot goign on with weddign drama and stuff and then I was out of town this weekend in Corpus Christi meeting my future in-laws!! Had a pretty good time!!! I will post those pictures as soon as Kris’ step-mom emails me the rest of them!!! Hope everyone had a good weekend!!!!

And since me wedding has kept me so preoccupied, here are some wedding jokes!!!!

What is a wedding tragedy?

To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money!

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A female snake charmer was wooed by an undertaker and accepted his offer of marriage. They received many gifts at the wedding but their favorite was a set of towels embroidered with the words: “hiss and hearse”

(woo-hoo!…that was terrible!

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A wedding occurred just outside Cavan in Ireland.

‘Hurt?’ Paddy replies. ‘He broke three of my fingers!’

HAVE FUN TODAY!!!!

I definitly feel that way!!!

 Now the AC in the house seems to have gone out and all my hard weeks of work ont eh favors may be ruined becuase the chocolates are melting, btu I can’t jsut call and AC guy to fix it becuase we are renting and I can’t seem to get ahold of my landlord. ia m sure she is just ignoring me becuase of the cost!!! I can’t sjut do it myself and take it out of the rent without her consent, or at least tha tis what I think. Anyone let me knwo if they know anythign regarding this or not!! ARGH!!!!I just keep telling myself relax the weekend will come and you will spend it relaxing on a boat in Corpus with Kris’ family!!! btu still…………………

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!

So my brother got in from Honduras Friday so I went to San Antonio to spend sometime with him. He will only be here for 2 weeks then he has to report to germany!!! for his new permanent post, but he did let me know he will be here for the wedding so that is awesome!!!!! I am so glad he is gonna make it, wouldn’t be the same without him.

Got alot of wedding stuff done this weekend!!! Flower girl dresses are ordered, got the cake knofe, money box, toasting glasses…..etc… a bunch of the wedding recetion stuff!!! Also got my dress problem fixed. I have relaly been pushing it to ge titnot my dress and now the stress and obssessive workign out with little actual food has really done it’s damage in a short period of time. I did 80 laps in the poor in a 24 hour period and I guess the stress and anxiety abotu the dress situation jsut becuase to much and my body jsut gave out on me Saturday!!! So I went back to Alfred Angelo to see what my options are and got a wonderful solution!!!  Theya re going to remove the zipper from the back of my dress and replac eit with a lace up corset back. Since it could zip half way up and just didn’t go all the way it left the perfect V opening for a corsett back. The ladies said it was fitting just perfect for that!! I am so releived. She even said if I were to gain, which definitly won’t happen, the dress will still fit and look great it would just have a bigger V and if I loose more it will just have a smaller V!!! SO relieved!!!! Feel like a huge weight has been lifted!!!!I am still planning on loosing at least another 10 pounds before the wedding but it is great to know that no matter what I have a dress that fits!!!!

Okay so now for a laugh!!! Since it is monday and we are all back at work unfortnately I figured some Dilbert would be good for this morning!!!!

 I sooooooooo have had one of these days!!!

and my favorite!!!!

HAVE FUN TODAY AND DON’T WORK TO HARD!!!!

Getting a hairdryer through customs… 

 A Distinguished young woman on a flight from 
Ireland asked the Priest beside her, ‘Father, may I ask a favor?’ 
 ’Of course child. What may I do for you?’

‘Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my Mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?’ 

 ’I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.’

‘With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.’ 

 When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, ‘Father, do you have anything to declare?’ 

 ’From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.’ 

 The official thought this answer strange, so asked, ‘And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?’

‘I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.’ 

 Roaring with laughter, the official said, ‘Go ahead, Father. Next!’

 INDIAN WITH ONE TESTICLE

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and who’s given
name was ‘Onestone.’

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,

‘If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!’

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, ‘Good
morning, Onestone.’

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he
made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next
day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone m eant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a
woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird’s cousin, was overjoyed when she saw
Onestone. She hugged him and said, ‘Good to see you, Onestone.’

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love
to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the
next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird
wouldn’t die!

What is the moral of this story?????………………………

OH, Come on… take a guess!

Think about it…

(You’re going to love this!)

And the moral is…

You can’t kill two birds with one stone!!

A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.
On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone - “Get me a coffee, quickly!”

“Good!” replied the trainee, and puts down the phone.

Okay yeah, that wasn’t the greatest, one more………

2 dumb fishermen decided to rent a boat on a lake for their favorite sport. After fishing for 4 hours at various places around the lake with no luck at all they decided to try one more spot before calling it quits, Suddenly things started to happen, and they caught their limit inside of twenty minutes. paul said, (Hey we should mark this spot, so next time we will know where to come,) Jim says good idea, and he took out a can of spray paint and made a large X on the floor of the boat….to mark the spot…. With that paul says, why did you do that, now anyone who rents this boat will know where to fish.
HA HA!!!!

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!

I think there are some who may just need a laugh this morning, so hopefully this will bring you one, or at least just a smile!!!

Everyone please keep Angela and her family in your prayers. Her mother passed away, she was goign thru alot medically. Everyone jsut wanted peace for her, whichever way the Lord saw fit!!! Please pray for Angela and her family!!!! Thank You